Yoshi the Drunkard

Yoshi is a lover of freedom and alcohol, in that order. Third on his list of passions would be fighting, especially under the influence of his second. Such a lifestyle made him a near-perfect fit as a rebel commando in the insurrection against the Mikage Autocracy that had misruled Yakai for generations. But Yoshi was more an adventurer than a true soldier. He hated taking orders, resented those who considered themselves his superior, flouted rules on discipline and orderly conduct, and missed every reveille due to a hangover. But he was so skilled with his massive war-club, and so well-liked by the troops, that his frequent and noisy misbehavior was tolerated. And most importantly, he was a true believer in the cause of the rebellion, and hated the cruel Mikage Demonspawn with a fierce passion. He survived campaign after brutal campaign, until after years of civil war, the Mikage were dethroned and the Shadowkin liberated from their dark masters. Yoshi’s celebration with the victorious troops was so legendarily debauched that, with victory achieved, he was cut loose. This dismissal troubled him little, for he was more than ready to leave his nagging commanders behind and wander the newly-freed realm, feasting and brawling as he went. Eventually he spent all the spoils of his soldiering career, and blearily realized he’d need a new livelihood. Hungry and tired, he wandered into a monastery just as the monks were performing their morning ablutions, meditating, and praying in the early light. Yoshi loudly demanded hospitality, but the monks were in no mood to oblige the rude drunkard’s demands. When he refused to leave they threatened violence, and Yoshi took up the challenge gleefully. Yoshi badly underestimated what he took to be a pack of scrawny mystics. Their martial arts were unlike anything he’d ever experienced, their motions incredibly precise and controlled compared to his huge swipes and stomps. His opponents wasted not a single bit of movement or energy, and let Yoshi tire himself out with clumsy and easily-thwarted attacks. When the monks were satisfied that Yoshi had been thoroughly made a fool of, they struck clusters of nerves in his neck and chest, numbing his limbs and dealing him crippling pain. Suddenly sobered up and forced to admit defeat, Yoshi begged forgiveness and asked to learn more of the monks’ techniques. The monks were in turn quietly impressed by Yoshi’s brute strength and were intrigued by his unique fighting style, which they compared to that of an intoxicated bear. With effort and patience there was much they could learn from each other, and so Yoshi was inducted as a pupil. It was no easy transition for the boisterous tippler, for life in the monastery was much more severe than that of a soldier. But he found himself centered, grounded, in tune with his inner thoughts and his hulking body. He’d never before experienced such calmness and purpose, and in knowing himself his fighting skill improved quickly as well. In exchange, he demonstrated how his weaving, staggering, unpredictable movements in battle were not always the besotted mistakes they might appear to be, but a calculated means of disrupting an opponent’s timing and spacing. Thanks to his surprisingly limber physique he was capable of making fast twists and turns his opponents could never expect, meaning he could strike time and again with little forewarning of where or how. Spitting a mouthful of high-proof rice wine into the enemy’s eyes, after swallowing a bit for himself, was always an option. Yoshi was happy, but his wanderlust built up unsated, and so after several years of soul-searching and refinement, he bid farewell to the monastery and left to see the world and sample its pleasures. The Shadowkin monks could hardly approve of such a course, but they knew better than to argue with their bull-headed disciple when it came to his heart’s desire for endless freedom. Having already wandered much of Yakai, Yoshi longed to see the wider world. First he voyaged through the tunneled thoroughfares of the Skyiron Dominion. He sampled the finest Dwarven brews, entertained vagabonds and wenches with bawdy stories, and emerged on the other side facing the forbidding Stormwind Wastes and beyond that the harsh Krokhan Desert. Laden with as many kegs as he could carry, Yoshi plunged in, undaunted. As Yoshi traveled west, tales of a massive, alcohol-soaked vagrant preceded him. He took on mercenary contracts, was bodyguard to a princess, pummeled deadly monsters into submission, and celebrated every adventure with a round of drinks for everyone in the nearest tavern he could locate. Even the High Elves of Aravia took note of this mysterious adventurer from the east. Yoshi the Drunkard was last seen crossing the Valdemar Strait in search of new lands, new challenges, and new forms of fermented beverage to guzzle.